The book you've been waiting for!  Click here to order a copy!

Site search Web search

powered by FreeFind

navbar OAIM Home Page

Navigation Bar

Many rationalize premarital sex by saying the Bible refers only to sex outside of marriage as being adultery, which is to imply that one has to be married before adultery can occur (Exodus 20:14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.) However, a close look at the scriptures reveals that any sexual activity outside of marriage is adultery, before or after marriage.

Sexual relationships other than between a man and a woman within the bonds of marriage is referred to as many other things. Although the word homosexuality itself is not used, the Bible refers to this practice as being not natural and as an abomination (Lev. 18:22 & 20:12; Rom. 1:26-27). The word bestiality is not used either, but sex with animals is referred to in Lev. 18:23 & 20:15-16. The same can be said of incest, again even though the word is not used. Reference to what constitutes incest is recorded in Lev. 18:6-18. With this in mind, all of these sexual practices are not within the confines of marriage between one man and one woman, so it naturally follows that these things fall under the umbrella of adultery. In Mark 10:6-9 Jesus said, from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and the twain (two) shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Most have heard these words spoken at marriage ceremonies, but most have probably never really thought how much meaning is wrapped up in these few words.

First, Jesus can speak with authority because He is the creator, and when He refers to God making them as male and female, He is referring to Himself as having created male and female.

Secondly, He speaks of a man leaving his father and mother and cleaving to his wife, then the two become as one flesh.

Thirdly, this is His grand design for man and woman, and no man is to separate them, for this is against His desire and plan for the complete and total happiness of His created beings.

A close look at these points should leave little doubt that any sexual activity outside of what they indicate (marriage) does not leave any room for any sexual activity beyond these boundaries.

In Deuteronomy 22:28-29, we see that if a man has sexual relations with a virgin, he is to marry her and be her husband for life. We also see that if a virgin is engaged to be married, she is also already considered the wife of the man she is engaged to (Deuteronomy 22:23-24). In Deuteronomy 22:21 we see that a woman who claimed to be a virgin and was married under that pretense, and the husband found that she wasnít a virgin, she is considered a whore. This does not just refer to women who engage in sexual activity before marriage, it also refers to men as whoremongers who engage in sexual relationships before marriage as well (Ephesians 5:5).

At this point, many will argue that this is mostly Old Testament references and that it is not practical or relevant in the real world without stopping to think and realize that these rules of conduct have and are in place in all civilized countries in the world. Although the Old Testament dealt harshly, even resulting in death for many of these practices, it needs to be pointed out that although the penalties are not as harsh in most countries today, the intent of these laws are still much in force and are considered to be honorable and right. However, many Islamic countries to this day do enforce many of the severe penalties of which the Old Testament speaks (the Koran is taken in part from the Old Testament).

This is where many protest against Christianity and consider God to be harsh and evil, and if this is where it all ended, I might be in agreement with those who oppose the Bible as not being relevant, outdated, cruel, and not practical in todayís society, but the whole story needs to be told before understanding can be complete.

(The following is but a brief outline of Godís plan for mankind and cannot be gone into great depth at this time. This will bring up many other questions of which will be answered in other articles for those who wish a more in-depth study.)

In Genesis is the story of how Man sinned against God, and in doing so, his very nature became corrupt, and from that moment on was bent towards evil. As generations passed, Man continually became more corrupt, which eventually lead to the destruction of all of Mankind in the flood with the exception of Noah and his family. The sin which Man committed was to believe the lies of Satan that Man did not need God and could be a god within himself (Gen. 3:5). Man became convinced that he no longer needed God to instruct him in what was right and what was wrong. He now had the knowledge of good and evil and could decide for himself which was which. When Mankind made this decision, he in effect was saying that he no longer needed God telling him what to do, and in doing so, God left his presence and let Man continue after his own lusts and desires which has lead to his own destruction throughout history and up to the present time.

Because of Godís love for Man, He devised a solution from the very beginning of time, even before the creation He had a plan of how He could create creatures with a free will with the knowledge of good and evil as He Himself has, which would use that knowledge with the wisdom for good rather than evil. (To truly be a creature with a free will, that creature has to have a knowledge of what is good and what is evil to choose from. God has that knowledge, but only for hating evil and loving good.)

From that moment, when Mankind first chose to believe Satan had told the truth and that he had more to offer than God, God already knew the destruction that lay ahead for Man. But Man didnít, and still hasnít learned, what it is that brings him so much misery. To this day, Mankind still has to experience the consequences of evil to see the destruction of where it all leads, and somehow, wants to blame God rather than his own choice to be his own god. God always desired, and still desires, for Man to come to Him willingly with love and devotion by his own free will, but that is not possible until Man acknowledges that he is wrong and that God is right in what He says is evil and what is good. After all, what is it in the Old Testament and the New Testament which God calls good that Man protests against?

Arenít the Ten commandments really about how Mankind should treat one another and how they should view their Creator? Would an evil God say thou shalt not steal for example? Would a good God say, go ahead, steal from each other and take another manís possessions that he worked hard for, and while youíre at it, if you desire to have his wife, take her from him too? Would a good God say, go ahead, if you donít like someone, kill him and lie and cheat and do whatever your heart desires? Would a good God say, go ahead and whatever your sexual desires are, just do it, no matter who or with what?

We can all read this when put in this context, and agree that those things are not good and that only an evil God would say such things, yet we still rebel, curse, and rile against a Holy God for saying such things are wrong. We all want love and peace and brotherhood throughout the world, a world free of pain and misery, yet when God says these things are good and that is what He wants for Mankind as well, donít we really say, yes, but we want to do it our way without You telling us what is right and what is wrong; we want to be our own gods without Your interference. This is all well and good, but there is one problem, even though we know what is right, we are incapable of doing what is right, and we desire to do what is evil instead. To be honest with ourselves, arenít we inwardly saying, Those rules apply to everyone else, but for me, they are too restrictive. Donít we all have a way of justifying and excusing our own actions?

Here is the answer to the dilemma Man finds himself in. Our very nature is corrupt and incapable of doing what is right so we are not capable of behaving as we ought to. It is much like expecting a dog to act like a cat. It is impossible because it is against the nature of a dog to act like a cat. The solution? Our nature must be changed. It takes the nature of a cat to act like a cat. Since our nature is not like the nature of God, we need a new nature, the nature of God. The only way this is possible is for God Himself to put His nature into us, and He will only do that if we are willing to allow Him to do that for us. Man cannot change His own nature through good works and by His own efforts to change that nature. Only God can do that, it is called being born again. Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God John 3:3. (Also read John 3:4-21.)

We were born with a corrupt nature which cannot be changed, altered or corrected; it has already been condemned to death and nothing will revive it. Jesus came to offer us life through the new nature which is born of Him, by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It is a free gift just for the asking, but it requires repentance (which means no more than to acknowledge to God that we are sinful and that we are incapable of saving ourselves from our dilemma and to ask for forgiveness, which at that time, He will give us that new nature, which is eternal and can never become corrupted.)

With this understanding, then it becomes apparent that God was dealing with Man who has a corrupt nature that was, and still is, constantly turning away from Him and following after gods that Man made with his own hands and worshipping things of his own creation, which in turn is Man worshipping Man. (Worshipping the creature rather than the Creator. See Romans 1:18-32.) What may have seemed cruel and harsh in the Old Testament was of necessity for Godís plan of salvation for all of Mankind to come to pass. The lineage of the One from whom God had promised that the Messiah would descend had to be preserved in able for Man to have his sin forgiven and the promise of eternal life offered to those who accepted His forgiveness, mercy and grace. If it were not for this, then Man would have destroyed himself and the birth of Jesus would never have come to pass and all of Mankind would still be eternally lost.

Today Man has access to eternal life through Jesus, a choice which every man, woman and child is free to reject or accept by an act of their own free will.

The parallels are numerous throughout the Bible of how God views marriage between a man and a woman, the delight which one should have towards their spouse in expressing their God-given sexuality towards one another and how God uses the comparison to express how He as the groom expresses His love for His Bride, the Church. The entire book of the Song of Solomon is one great example in its entirety. In Ephesians 5:22-33, we see in here that instructions are given towards the husband and wife of how they should love and revere each other, mingled with references of loving each other as Christ loved the Church. (verses 22,23,24,25,29) In verse 30 it speaks of being one flesh with God and in verse 31 of a man and a woman being of one flesh and then follows up in verse 32 saying, this is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.

It is interesting to notice in Jeremiah 3:14, God tells the backslidden children of Israel that He is married to them and beckons them to return to Him. In other references He refers to Himself as being their husband (Jeremiah 31:32; Isaiah 54:5). In the New Testament, James 5:7 and John 15:1, He is referred to as the Husbandman of the Church. There are many references throughout the entire Bible that draw the parallel between a man and a woman in marriage and God as being married, or as a Husband, or as the Groom and those who make a covenant with Him as being the Bride or the Wife. As with all the analogies and stories which are the types of Christ throughout the Old Testament, and the parables that Jesus gave in the New Testament, God uses things of the physical to illustrate the spiritual so Mankind can have understanding of the spiritual realm while living in the physical realm.

To summarize up to this point, God uses the illustration of adultery in marriage as an example of those who turn away from Him as having committed spiritual adultery by serving other gods, which are not gods at all. As with physical adultery, there is the turning away from your spouse the giving of yourself to one who is not your spouse, but there is forgiveness for those who have not been faithful to their spouse. In the same way, to commit spiritual adultery is to turn away from your spiritual Husband and give yourself to other gods which are not your God, and there is also forgiveness. However, in the physical realm, things are never perfect because of the corrupt nature of Man, and Godís ideal marriage is not possible in this life, although He gives the instructions for a perfect marriage which we must try as best as we can to accomplish.

Although many marriages fail, none would if everyone were capable of following His perfect instructions, but both must be willing to do their part to the best of their ability in order for any marriage to last and none will ever be perfect. There is one great difference between the physical marriage between a man and a woman and the spiritual marriage with God. In a physical marriage, we are dealing with the sinful nature of Man, and some divorces can never be reconciled. But in our marriage with God, we have a Partner who will always forgive and receive His wayward wife back with open arms each and every time, longing to be reconciled with her because, He is the perfect Husband.



©1998-2008 by OAIM
No portion of this site may be reproduced except for personal purposes without written permission from OAIM.






OAIM Main Page The history of OAIM Doctrinal Statement Site Map Staff