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Okay, Ladies, You're First


First, I will address the women, but men, donít get too comfortable and look at your wives with the look of satisfaction or the ďSee? I told you so,Ē look, because your turn comes next. Just keep in mind, whatever you mete out, will be meted back out to you.

Ladies, your husband is to be the desire of your heart -- you are to love him with all of your being. Honor his position as head of the home, a position in which God has placed him. (I am not concerned with the new thoughts coming out today that scoff at this statement. I am not a politically correct pastor. I prefer to be thought of as a biblically correct pastor and I am not one bit concerned with pleasing man, but rather God.)

I am sure that most, if not all, have heard many sermons about this subject and have heard all of the scripture references about how a wife should treat her husband. I will continue that same theme, but I hope in an entirely different way that you may not have heard it before that will make an impact on you and your marriage. From here on out, I am going to speak to you from the heart to heart, mincing no words and not trying to sound spiritual -- just plain talk.

Girls, do you want to be the apple of your husbandís eye and to know that you are the most important woman in his life? Do you want a husband who loves you and will ravish you (and I use this term in the most positive of ways)? Do you want a husband who will honor you as his wife and mother of his children? Do you want a man who will be your provider and defender in whose arms you can feel safe and secure? If you say no to any of these questions, you are truly in a state of extreme denial and are going against the way God created you. Either that, or you are already dead. I donít care what the world has been trying to tell you or how it has tried to condition the minds of you ladies to think differently in todayís society. The image of the strong woman who is her own person, I believe, is bologna. You are what you are and I am speaking to that little girl in you and you know it. Let me tell you ladies something. The more you try to usurp the position God has placed your husband in as the head of the home, the more you will push your husband from you and into the arms of another woman. If this happens, do you think you will be guiltless? If he runs to the arms of another woman because he wants to be a tomcat, and you have been trying to fulfill your role of wife and mother to the best of your ability, then that is another story all itself. Then and only then are you not guilty.

Let me ask this of you wives: do you encourage your husband to fill the position of head of the home or do you put him down and criticize everything he is trying to do? If you do that, you are striking at the very root of his makeup as a man and the results will be disastrous both to you and to him. Ladies, the image of the macho tough guy that your husband may be trying to portray is not so. There is that little boy in every big, hairy, tough guy and you can crush his spirit and turn him into a wimp, or you can make him the man that he desires to be to you, and he will certainly grow to be a complete and whole man that will be the fulfillment of the questions that I asked you previously.

If you say, ďNot my husband,Ē then you are right -- he never will be then. I donít want to hear this stuff, ďWell, if you knew my husband, you would understand.Ē Yes, I might, but only if you have been trying to fulfill your role, then would I understand. If you havenít been, then you have to rethink your ideas and attitudes. What is it, is it that you desire to be the head of the home instead? If that is so, for what purpose then? Is it so you can say that your husband is not the head of your home? What has been gained by such an attitude? Forget this new age stuff about sharing the role as well. The Bible says nothing about sharing the role as head of the home. You have to get it straight, ladies. If you want a happy and fulfilling marriage, anything short of allowing your husband to fulfill that role will not work and you will continue down that road of unfulfilled desires of your own heart, spiritually, emotionally and physically. What your husband wants and needs is a woman who loves him when he makes dumb choices, who does not put him down when he does, but encourages him to move forward and lets him know that he is still the man of her life.

It is important that he knows he is a man in your eyes, ladies, even when he doesnít feel much like a man when he makes mistakes. Itís not hard to do girls, tell him how big and strong he is, even if he isnít. Tell him how good he makes love to you even if he doesnít. Tell him how smart he is, even if he isnít. Tell him how much you appreciate him providing for you, even if he isnít. Do you think nagging him will change any of these things? Let me ask you, how much of a motivation is it for you when he puts you down for trying to fulfill your role as a wife that he is not pleased with? We are all the same when it comes to that, girls. We all need the support and the assurance of the love of others to be what we desire to be, and that is especially true when it comes to our mates.



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